Sunday, March 8, 2015

Balance.


The other day I texted my sister asking what her plans were for the weekend. She lives in Houston and actually moved here not long after we did for a promotion, and although she lives about 40 minutes from us I hardly ever see her. She is almost the complete opposite personality of me. I knew when she moved here it would take her about 3 seconds to make new friends. She has always been good at that. A few years ago we actually worked for the same company and while she had a whole lunch table of friends to sit with everyday, I would usually choose to eat alone at my desk. Or sometimes join her table, sit right next to her and stay out of the conversation.  I know, I totally sound like the older one right ;)

So when she responded that she was doing this and that, and had exciting plans like she always seems to I found myself wishing I was more like her. More social, more outgoing, more fun. Why didn't I make friends as easily as her? Why didn't I go out more? All of a sudden I wanted more friends, I wanted to go out more, I wanted to go to concerts, and dinner with friends, and take cool pictures and have a fun life too! 

And I let this bother me for a while. I felt like something was wrong with me for not being like her. I spend most weekends very low-key. For example right now as I begin writing this it is Friday at 8:48PM. After work today I went to Costco. Partly for fun and partly for a hot dog. Came home. Ate more food. And then spent almost two hours baking the most delicious banana bread while listening to John play video games in the background. (He will kill me that I just admitted he plays video games) And shortly I will shower and go to bed. Probably by 10PM. And that is late by my standards. 

I have always been somewhat of a homebody. And I'm the kind of person who needs a lot of down time for myself. I know it's not a cool thing to admit, but I enjoy spending time alone. And I enjoy being at home. I like to make pancakes and watch Kelly and Michael in the mornings. I like to spend time in the kitchen trying new recipes. I like to have my house in order. I like to make to-do lists. I like to see an empty laundry basket. I like to read. I really like to get my sleep. And on the weekends I like to just hang out with John and get all the time I can with him. Whether we do something, or just stay in.

And I've admitted it before, but I just don't make new friends that well. I'm at the point where I've mostly accepted it, but it still hurts to see others who don't struggle with that.  I also sometimes feel like I am at a real in-between age right now. Not young anymore, but not old yet. Sometimes I'm not sure where I fit in. 

But I am happy. Truly. I like my life right now. Yes, there is a lot I am working on but for the most part this lame lifestyle is part of what makes me, me. And I realized that I have to be okay with it. Everyone is different, as we should be. And we all are constantly going through transitions in our lives. Doing what makes us happy, and doing our best to just figure it out as we go.

But- I also know that there needs to be a balance in life. As much as I enjoy living under a rock, I know I need to get out every once in a while and be with other people. To learn from people and have conversations and laugh and enjoy others company. It's ultimately part of being a healthy human being. And it's definitely part of becoming happier. So when she asked us to join them for dinner, we did. I will give most of that credit to John though, he was all YEAH LET'S GO. (Super, super social person he is) But I am so happy that we did.

Also, new glasses whoop whoop.



We met them for dinner and then went to a bar afterwards. I ate a nice meal. I got to catch up with my beautiful baby sister. I had fun. And then at midnight, called it a night. You probably won't find me in a bar again for while but- balance. It's something I want to work more on. Keeping the time I want and need for myself,  but also getting out of my box every once and a while and enjoying the other sides of life.


 x.

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...