That's a good song. But literally, I can't feel my face right now. I just got a cavity filled. And in case you weren't one of the 66 people (thank god only) that read my post yesterday, which I had a change of heart and deleted, I'm kind of mad (or moody, dramatic, whatever you want to call it) this week and today I'm taking it out on the dentist.
I had the same dentist my entire life, from whatever age I started going until I moved out of state at 23. I loved my dentist. Literally everyone in my entire family went to this dentist. My Mom, my Dad, My ex-stepdad, my sister and brothers. I'll say it twice, I loved my dentist. I trusted that dentist. Really, no one else will ever stand a chance and I should probably just fly back to Michigan every 6 months for a dental visit, because everyone else sucks.
Finding a dentist in a new city is hard. I picked this one solely based on the receptionists voice over the phone. Erin is awesome. I like Erin. But Erin's not a dentist. I stayed anyways. When I first went last February, the assistant killed me taking 101 X-rays and kept apologizing over and over "sorry. sorry. sorry." I texted John afterwards that I thought it was her first day. He had an appointment the next week and I told him I was going to find him someplace better but he just wanted to get it over with, so he went there too. He obviously wasn't in love with his old dentist (mine was a woman by the way ppl!) because he said it wasn't that bad. It's bad.
I had a cleaning earlier this week, and first of all let me say how awkward this went down. I got there about 3 minutes early....only 3 minutes. And the entire office was sitting in a circle in the front lobby, having a lunch meeting. I opened the door, looked at them, stayed half in the doorway for a few seconds and was like.. "um, should I go?" And some woman was like "haha no stay! do you need Invisalign?" and I felt frozen, like I couldn't move out of the doorway and really just wanted to turn around, but reluctantly I walked in and said "um, no I already had braces" and sat down in the one chair left in the corner. And I sat there for 3 very uncomfortable minutes texting John "um, they're in a meeting and I'm sitting right here, it's so weird." The man who I assume was in charge, finished up the meeting telling the staff that every patient needs to leave with a packet about Invisalign in their hand. He was adamant about that part, in their hand. Then they all went back to work, and the woman apologized because they had Panera and it smelled like onions. "Um, it's fine..I like onions." (I don't like onions that much, but okay Morgan, good conversation skills lol.)
Thankfully this time a different person cleaned my teeth who was a little bit better, but she found a small cavity.
Let me just say now, that I take very good care of my teeth. I brush them at least twice, sometimes 3 times a day, I try to floss every other day, and I use a pre-brushing mouthwash AND a post-brushing mouthwash. And I'm pretty sure that if I didn't drink a pot of coffee everyday for the last 10 years I would even have a sparkling bright white smile, but I do, so I don't. And despite all this, I seem to always have a cavity. John thinks it's hilarious because he brushes his teeth only once a day and has never had a cavity. (his immediate response was "stop eating sugar" so that could be part of it lol)
So needless to say, I was like, GREAT. SUPER. AWESOME. I didn't have time to get it done that day, so I had to make an appointment to go back in today.
My appointment was at 3:40, and at exactly 3:40 I was pulling into the parking lot when they called to ask me if I was coming to my appointment, and I was like "oh sorry thought maybe you had another staff meeting and I was trying to avoid interrupting again." Just kidding I didn't say that, but really? Give me one minute to park.
So this time, a new assistant woman who I've never seen before brings me back, so now I have never seen the same person twice here. Besides Erin, who thank God still works there. But this new woman immediately starts to annoy me. She goes to take my blood pressure and first question- "aww cute tattoo! what is it?" I was like wishing in my head, omg please stop. But I responded with my usual short answer, and then she kept going with like 20 more questions about it. I think that was her version of small talk, even though I thought I was pretty clearly being short about it. Then she asked if that was the only one I had, and I was like "uh-huh" even though I knew that she could clearly see the one on my neck, but I didn't want to get started on my daughter Faith too.
Then she brings "The Doctor" in. I don't know why, but I thought it was funny that was how she introduced this person to me and I was just thinking, soo does the doctor have a name or what? And together they started to get down to business. Now like I said, I'm not a stranger to cavities and usually dentists compliment me on how well I do (it's true! not even bragging! I stay super still and everything!) but these people were trying to drown me or something because I had to keep putting my left hand up, which they told me to do if I needed a break, because I felt like I was choking. She was shooting water down my throat and I had to keep doing this half swallow thing, and I could tell it was bothering The Doctor and she kept asking me to relax my tongue, and telling me that I had a strong tongue. And this whole time, I felt like I was dying and these little swallows were my only chance at survival so I kept doing them. Also, my eyes were watering so badly that it looked like I was full on crying, but I wasn't, I was just keeping my eyes open really big because I was literally terrified of dying.
(by the way this is a real thing - "fear of choking due to dental treatment")
Anyways, it wasn't bad after that and it was over really quickly. The Doctor left as fast as she came in and on the walk back up to the front the assistant woman asks me if I ever get anything lost in my purse. And I was like, "no." I mean, I am awkward, I have horrible conversation skills, but she was on another level seriously. So I went up to the front, paid my bill, looked in the mirror and saw that it looked like I had just literally (how many times can I say literally in one post?) drowned to death. And once I got back into my car, I realized that they never even gave me my Invisalign packet.
Venting complete. Until next time. x