Sunday, August 23, 2015

Dear Self.

When I was 16 I was seeing this therapist, and she made me do this exercise one time where she told me to close my eyes and then envision myself as a little girl. I felt stupid, but I closed my eyes and did as she said. Then she asked me to talk to that little girl and let her know that everything would be okay. Now I was feeling really stupid, but I did it and envisioned myself at age 1 all the way through 16 saying "it's going to be okay." And when I was finished, I cried. I can't even remember now what I was seeing a therapist for exactly (emotional teenager), but I'll never forget that session. Whenever things seem hard, or when life isn't perfect or I don't know what to do, I think about my future self looking back and telling my current self not to worry, that everything's going to be okay. And it helps me to remember that life goes on. Hard situations eventually pass and even though life will probably never be perfect, it's always going to be okay.

I think that life seems hard no matter what stage we're in. And even if time passes and we're always okay in the end, I'm the kind of person who carries around a lot of regret all the time. I hate that I'm like that, but I am. As much as I wish I could go back and tell myself to relax because life will be okay, I also wish I could go back and give myself some other advice too. The "don't be stupid" kind of advice. Maybe a combination of something like, "life's going to be okay, but try not to f*** it up too badly."

I watched this video last week "How to Age Gracefully" featuring life-affirming advice given by 7-93 year olds. And it made me think of that time with the therapist. It's worth 4 minutes if you have it.


 (My favorite line was, "Dear 12 year old, just ask her to dance. Just trust me on this one.")


Here's some advice I would tell my younger self, had I had the chance, starting with that 16 year old:

Dear 16 year old,
Don't cry over boys. None of them will matter. The one who ditches you for a better homecoming date last minute probably ends up fat and alone. (not that I know..) Also, go ahead and wear crop tops now because next time they come around you will be old.

Dear 17 year old,
Start thinking about your life after high school, it's going to happen quicker than you think. It's hard to wrap your head around right now, but there's actually more to life than deciding what you're going to wear to that party tonight.

Dear 18 year old, 
Wake up and go to your classes. School is actually fun. And while you're there, do all the things you think you're too afraid to do. Try out for the school play and don't worry about what your friends might think. Being cool is overrated.

Dear 19 year old,
Start getting to know yourself now and stop idolizing the wrong people. Paris Hilton isn't real. But you are pretty great. Also, tattoos are actually permanent. It's not a myth. Think about that one.

Dear 20 year old, 
It's okay to drop out of college if it isn't working out, but make another plan. It isn't a "break" if it lasts forever. You're smarter than you think, do something.

Dear 21 year old, 
Drinking is not that cool. Get a hobby.

Dear 22 year old,
Breaking up with a best friend is hard. So hard. But years from now she will be in the same place, and you'll think about how that could've been you. You're doing the right thing.

Dear 23 year old, 
If you're unhappy and bored in a relationship, get out. Don't even think twice about it because trust me, it gets way better than this.

Dear 24 year old,
Kareoke is always a bad idea. So is tequila.

Dear 25 year old, 
Even if you feel "stuck" in a certain place, in a certain job, try to enjoy it anyways. Every phase of life goes by so quickly, and you'll wish you tried a little harder instead of complained. Stop eating lunch by yourself. Make friends with your co-workers, they're actually very nice.

Dear 26 year old, 
No one has it together. And if they do, they're probably lying. Have fun. You're only 26. You're not supposed to have it all figured out yet. Continue to get to know yourself. Trust yourself. Be honest. Tell the truth. Stop making excuses. Be different. It's cliche, but seriously - just be yourself, everybody else is already taken. It's okay.

Love, a 27 year old. 
..who probably knows nothing but right now is the oldest I've ever been, making me the wisest I've ever been ;) 


  (video via cupofjo, whose links I'm always stealing)

x.

18 comments:

  1. To the 22 year old of you, I want to say the 23 of me. I love this. This is so meaningful, and I seriously appreciate it. I totally needed to read something like this today. Thank you.

    xoxo,
    Abby
    www.thefrugalblogger.net

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    1. SO much harder than breaking up with any boyfriend. Glad it meant something to you, thanks so much for reading! xo.

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  2. Love this! It's so crazy to look back on what was important to us/what we were going through at a certain time and how we thought it was the end of the world.

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    1. I know, I used to think EVERYTHING was the end of the world! Then I read this story once where this woman compared our life to a great big canyon and every day is just throwing a quarter into that canyon, where it won't even make a dent, and will eventually get lost. Life really just goes on, and what's a huge deal one day, we probably won't even remember, and won't matter in the long run. But, I do wish I would have been a little smarter back when I was younger, I used to live so "by the moment" and that got me in some trouble lol.

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  3. What a great post! I look back and regret allll the time and wish my future self actually could have helped my younger self. All of that advice is so true, except karaoke, karaoke is so funny I don;t think I can give it up ever.

    xx,
    Susie

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    1. Lol, it is fun I know. But when I was thinking back to 24 all I could remember was this time I did karaoke (on vacation with my family no less) and I was HAMMERED drunk rapping Gangster Paradise. And I literally could not get out of bed the next day until 6pm. Like, that is what I think of when I think of 24. Sad right?! lol.

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  4. I so wish I could've given myself advice back in the day. Sometimes I think about how I was earlier and cringe. I'm glad I've gained some perspective and self confidence over the years!

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    1. I know. "Cringe" is always the word that comes to mind when I think of my younger days. It's like that saying, "wisdom is wasted on the old." It's so true! But, I guess there's no way we could grow if we didn't have to go through and learn our own lessons.

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  5. I love this! There is so much advice that I wish I could have given myself over the years in hindsight. It sounds like your 23 year old self and my 23 year old self were in the same boat too! haha

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    1. Hahaha, and see it worked out for you too ;)

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  6. Love this! It is so hard to remind yourself sometimes that everything really is going to be ok...and to cherish the times you are in now.

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    1. Yes yes yes! It's hard to remember in the moment, but I'm really working on trying to love life every day. It really does go by so fast! And to make smart choices ;)

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  7. I am totally obsessed with this. Reading about your sesh that day with your therapist made me emotional. That's good stuff. Such a great post. Xo

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    1. awww thanks (blushing)! I just saw the video and had to write my own. I loved the message so much!

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  8. Obsessed with this and loved the video! Your advice was so beautiful too!

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  9. Wait how did I miss this post? I have literally been stalking my blogger feed thinking "Morgan hasn't posted in FOREVER" then today I just decided to hop over and check (yeah I'm that big of a fan) and I missed a post!! ANYWAYS this is great and that therapy session idea sounds so smart, for reals! It's so true, everything WILL be ok always!! Even though at the time it can be so stressful you don't know what to do with yourself. And I love the mini letters to yourself hahah "it isn't a myth, tattoos are permanent" (ps is faith like a child's name or a religious thing??? just kidding!) But yeah, still surprised I missed this post, it's awesome!!
    xo
    Candace

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    1. ps I'm at work so I'll watch that video later!

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  10. Okay, I freaking LOVE this video. "Nobody knows what the hell they're doing." BOOM.

    And yes. Karaoke and tequila are always a bad idea.... but never seem like it at the time. HA!

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