Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Why Ted's driving me nuts (lately.)

I skipped a Ted update for August because it's more or less the same as the month before. He grows, he learns, he does funny things, we love him etc, etc, etc. And while I still do really, really love him. He's driving me a little crazier than normal lately.


Example A:  

Five days after we brought him home I wrote this post about how we were giving in and letting him sleep with us. But as you can probably guess, it's not working out anymore. Ted's days of sleeping in the bed are so numbered. (like zero) It was cute and all when he was tiny, but now at almost 50 lbs things are a getting a little uncomfortable. I can't say that I didn't know this was going to happen. I knew it would eventually but we couldn't help it, he was so cute (and loud lol.) Now most nights I fall asleep thinking he's super cute, but by the time I wake up in the morning I want to kill him. Like literally I am saying the words, "Ted I'm going to kill you." (Mean, but I wouldn't I swear.)

Here's a little run down of how it goes every single night - He gets really tired around 9pm. Like can barely keep his eyes open, it's adorable. Sometimes I pull him right up close to me to hold him and he'll fall asleep in my arms. Sometimes he falls asleep with his head on Johns shoulder while John watches tv. Sometimes we even put him in-between us, underneath the covers, and pull just his arms out like a human and then we laugh so hard. It kills me he's so cute when we go to bed. (Key word here - go.) But then at some point during the night, he makes his way over to my pillow, and lays himself down on top of my head, stretching himself out across the length of the whole pillow. And when I lift my head up to get out from underneath him, he takes the opportunity to scoot down even further leaving me no room to lay my head back down. Sometimes I try to pick him up and move him, but since I can't really do that anymore, I usually just call him a name and let him have the stupid pillow. So then I take the extra pillow (kept on the floor next to me for this very reason) and place it below my pillow that Ted just stole, and I sleep there. Just picture this - in a king size bed I am sleeping curled up in the very bottom corner. I usually start to hate him at this point, but I also want him to be able sleep and be comfortable so I do it. Then, between 5-6am he starts his morning grooming session in hopes to wake us up. He licks his entire body. Gives himself a little leg scratcher with his teeth. Kicks his left up to scratch his ear. We actually had to start taking his collar off at night because he was shaking the bed and making so much noise during these little grooming sessions. Then once he's done all this, he will sit up and take turns standing over us waiting for us to wake up. Seriously, we are terrified to open our eyes and let him see that we're awake because once he does, it's game over. True story, we stayed at my sisters over the weekend and had a little living room sleepover of sorts (stayed out way too late) and he was going around to everyone doing this at 5:47am, like "who wants to feed me!!" And this was after we had all gone to bed after 3am. Every single day, it's the same time. We literally haven't set an alarm in months because he is the alarm. 

Every night we're like, okay tonight he's going to sleep on the floor, and we don't do it. So last night we pulled up one of his dog beds (which we have many) next to Johns side, and once Ted fell asleep we moved him down there. Not even a minute later he was back on the bed, and we were like "ok...we tried?" Plus, he was so cute. (UGH)

Example B:

 I would suggest that if you're thinking about getting a dog, after first deciding if you have the time and financials etc, ask yourself this - Do you have time to vacuum 3 times a week? Are you really ready to give up black leggings forever? Do you want to eat hair for breakfast, lunch and dinner?

Seriously, think about it.

Lucky for me (or unlucky, not sure) I have the time to vacuum multiple times a week. Not saying that I necessarily want to, but I do it. And also lucky/unlucky for me, he loves it. I usually put him out on the balcony because if not, he follows me around tangling himself up in the cord and THE WORST, he lays himself down in my path and won't move. Like if he see's me going towards this rug, he will lay right down and stare at me, like "hey." So I have to throw toys around the whole time in hopes he'll chase them and get out of my way. Then what's even worse is when I think I'm "done" I look around and there's already more hair on the floor. I usually follow him around afterwards for a few minutes like "come on, I know that's not all you got!" I used to live with my sister and her golden retriever and I thought that dog was hairy. No. AND we got this super (stupid expensive) dog brush and I brush like a whole coat off of him at least once a week. I have no idea where it all comes from. It's insane. I'm literally looking at the floor right now, dreading the whole vacuum routine today...

Example C: 

I know I've already talked about how bad he is on a leash, and we're trying to work on that. So that's frustrating enough, but I think what's the worst is that combined with his obsession for smelling everything. I understand that he was pretty much bred to be a hunting dog so it's natural, but when he goes outside he acts like it's his job, like "okay goin' to work now guys, see ya later!" Like he is so intense and determined to follow every little smell trail he finds. (Maybe there's proper lingo for that, don't know.) But I'm like...come on dog! It's called going for a "walk" meaning consecutive steps forward, not one step forward, two steps backwards. Sometimes we're walking in circles, and I'm like, what the heck are we doing?! And trying to get him to stay on the sidewalk is just a joke. You see most people walking their dogs nicely on the sidewalk like normal, and then you see me...following behind my dog walking through the shrubbery. Or through mud puddles. Or basically "swamp" areas. He pulled me right through an ant hill the other day and all of a sudden my foot was one fire and I was like "OKAY NOW that's enough Ted." I swear, next time we get a dog (which is inevitable and I will cry thinking about it, but you know what I mean) I'm going to tell the breeder, "whichever dog is the worst hunting dog, we'll take him." Haha. 

(Possible Example D was: Moved on from licking lotion off my face and legs and now loves to (try to) lick deoderant out of our armpits. But not long enough story, and no picture proof. And gross?)

But really, in all seriousness, I'm mostly kidding. I just like to complain for fun. He really is still the cutest no matter how much he drives me crazy. He loves to hide out in our closet lately so we've started saying things like, "where's Ted? in his room?" or "Sorry Ted, gotta go in your room real quick." Or whenever we start dancing (because that happens sometimes lol) he will get this super confused look on his face and watch for a minute, then run over to us as fast as he can and jump up and down with us. And nothing beats whenever I get home from anywhere how he gets crazy-happy to see me and we have this whole 10 minute routine of hugging and kissing and me saying things like "oh I missed you so much Teddy you're my little baby boy forever and ever."

It's obviously a love/hate relationship. (But isn't that the truth about anyone we love?)

John talks about getting another dog all the time, and how Ted needs a friend and he's such a social dog and he shouldn't be alone. And all I can think of is...two dogs in the bed, twice the hair on the floor, and following around two dogs on leashes into the bushes. Sorry John, but no. (....or, just ask me later when the dogs being cute again) ;)

 x

18 comments:

  1. Haha! I was nodding through this entire post! We also experience the bed problems... Brady actually prefers to start the night off on the floor, but every. single. morning around 5am, he jumps up onto the bed and lays right down on top of my head/pillow. It's the most annoying thing in the world! If you figure out a solution, let me know ;) And oh, vacuuming. I seriously have to put him in his crate while I vacuum because he HATES it and figured out how to unplug it from the wall hahaha. At least they keep life interesting!

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    1. Hahaha he unplugs it?! That's hilarious. Dogs really make life so interesting. I just have to vent once in a while, but 99% of the time I'm in love with him.

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  2. Hahah I'm sorry I couldn't stop laughing picturing him laying on your head. Very funny image but I'm sure I would not be laughing if it was my sleep being cut off. I had Goldens all growing up and the fur was everywhereeee. We didn't let them on furniture though so we could try to avoid some fur on our clothes, which kind of helped but not really. I always tell Bill we're getting two dogs so they can entertain one another, but maybe I'll look into a dog that doesn't shed for the second haha! Even with these things you still make me want a dog so badly!

    xx,
    Susie

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    1. Lol I'm glad you always get my humor Susie. We shouldn't have let him on the furniture, but we are stupid lol. I didn't even talk about how much hair is on the LEATHER couch. It takes over everything. But, they are worth it. (I say they but I mean one dog lol. for now....)

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  3. Oh my gosh YES. If we even move in the morning, the dogs jump on us and paw us and lick our faces. You don't even have to be awake, but if you move then they think you are and they're like, "GIVE US ATTENTION NOW PLEASE. NOW." One of our dogs has yet to lick off deodorant, but when we come back from working out covered in sweat...she loves to lick that off. So gross!

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    1. Ugh it's so annoying/so cute sometimes. I know the deodorant thing is so gross, but he seriously just like goes for the armpits whenever he gets the chance. It freaks me out lol.

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  4. hahaha..love these real-life pet reminders! he's just soooo cute though! :)

    xoxo welltraveledwife.com

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    1. Yes, I have to be reeaal honest sometimes that he is so much to handle lol! I don't know what I would do if he wasn't so cute ;)

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  5. haha Ted!!! I have been waiting for a teddate (I decided that means Ted Update) I wish I could relate to all of this because then that would mean I had a pup of my own! But it's cool, I'm fine living vicariously through you. Plus I hate vacuuming.But it would be more worth it if I had a dog, or I would just beg Jason to vacuum. After reading this I kid you not I have that feeling where it feels like there's a hair in your mouth and you can't get it out. So yeah happy Tuesday!!
    xo

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    1. Hahahaha teddate, I love it. I seriously haven't vacuumed yet. I'm kind of protesting this week. And it's surprisingly easier to ignore than I expected lol. HAPPY WEDNESDAY ;)

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  6. Bahaha I love this. You will never win the bed battle! We bought a king size bed in large part to accommodate the dogs. They are too spoiled to sleep elsewhere and I would never be able to fall asleep without them now! Speaking of hair everywhere...have you had to get dog hair out of your eye balls yet? Ha! Also wait until you read something like this and realize your dog is super crazy/ annoying and you have gotten so used to living that way that you don't even notice until people look at your weird! The best :) Also we are watching my in-law's lab this week and all I keep telling Danny is #weeniesforlife because it is so weird to have completely different habits and quicks in the house even though I have been around that dog his whole life. Walking him took about 5x longer than a normal dog walk the other day. And the scratching/ itching in the middle of the night...really?!

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    1. We tried again last night, and we moved him to the floor 3 times and each time he just jumped right back up and laid down in-between us, we were laughing so hard. I think it's really like a "bonding" thing to all sleep together. Or, we're just spoiling our dogs, I don't know. I don't really care, I love that little guy too much. That's so funny about the lab. Why do they take so long to walk!?!? I always wanted a small dog actually, but John grew up with labs so we had to get one. I had a friend who had a weiner and I loooved her she was the sweetest thing ever.

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  7. Awh Ted haha! My dog is much much smaller, she's only 9 lbs, but I still hate sharing the bed with her! She does that irritating grooming session in the middle of the night as well, and always licks me awake too! I love her, but at the end of the day, she can still drive me nuts haha.

    I hope you start finding things easier with Ted! I think you might find you'll miss his puppy energy in later years though.

    Angelina Is | Bloglovin'

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    1. Awww you're right. I will totally miss it. Makes me really sad to think about :( Sometimes I just need to get it off my chest though, I swear I really, really love him. And glad to know your 9lb dog does that too!! They are probably not meant to sleep in human beds, but oh well!!

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  8. Oh Ted. What a character! I absolutely hate when dogs try to lick armpits! Not only is it A) super gross but B) it tickles like all get out.

    I think Ted is definitely at that rambunctious puppy stage. He should calm down in a bit. Have y'all got him neutered yet? They say that's supposed to help some too.

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    1. Not yet...I always thought it was at 6 months, but both the breeder and our vet "strongly" encourage us to wait until a year and a half. But we will see...more than anything I don't like to see them lol. I think we'll at least wait a year. And I'm actually glad to know another dog has done that to you lol. I get worried about Ted and his weird needs to wanting to lick lotion, and shaving cream and anything we put on our bodies.

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  9. hahaha my cat at home used to love to lick my armpits when i was asleep (i sleep with my arms above my head). so gross.
    i feel you on the hair. i basically eat it for all meals and it is on every single thing i own. we vacuum and sweep every.single.day. but it is no match against 3 cats worth of hair lol.

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