I made a post really early this morning that included this picture too, but a lot's changed since then so I deleted it and am starting over.
Basically, this here has been my motto the past few weeks. There's been a lot of conversations and journal writing (for me) going on over here that isn't exactly "positive." Quite simply, change is hard. Starting new jobs every 6-12 months is hard. Getting used to new routines and new people and a new city is hard. And I keep repeating to John, and to myself that "it's going to be okay." And it helps.
I started a new job this week, nannying, and something about it just didn't feel right. This is not the place to list off all the whys and the details, it just wasn't a good fit. It happens! And usually I would have just ignored the red flags and the feeling in my gut and kept going because while I'm a quitter in lot ways in life, I don't usually quit jobs just because I don't like them. I'm not stupid, I know that almost no one likes their job, it's just a part of life. So I usually wait it out until we have to move and then use moving as an excuse to quit. I spend most of the time unhappy and wonder why?
So after buying two pints of Ben & Jerry's yesterday and writing in my journal when I got home yesterday, I still wasn't sure what to do. Do I stick it out since it is so short-term (6 months) and maybe hate it, or do I actually take control of my happiness? I went to bed thinking I would just stick it out. I had a lot of reasons to and of course it would be the "smartest" choice.
Then I wrote this on my chalkboard this morning initially thinking - "I can do this. It's going to be okay." And then I glanced at it one last time as I was leaving and thought - "It's going to be okay if I quit."
So I did.
And yeah, I cried. Which isn't unusual, I think I've cried to every boss I've ever had at one point or another, and I ALWAYS do when I have to quit. Which is embarrassing, but I'm actually really proud of myself for being able to do it. It's not easy to say the words, "I don't think this is working." (It's almost as bad as breaking up lol!) But the older I get, the more I realize how important it is to listen to myself. That little voice is in our head for a reason. And yeah, I'm unemployed again (and I realize how lucky I am to be able to have this choice, I know I know I know, love you John) and now I need to make another plan, but I know it's going to be okay.
It always is.
(BUT PLEASE SEND JOB IDEAS!! NEED EMPLOYMENT!)