Friday, January 15, 2016

Everyone cries their first week of work, right?

I made a post really early this morning that included this picture too, but a lot's changed since then so I deleted it and am starting over.

Basically, this here has been my motto the past few weeks. There's been a lot of conversations and journal writing (for me) going on over here that isn't exactly "positive." Quite simply, change is hard. Starting new jobs every 6-12 months is hard. Getting used to new routines and new people and a new city is hard. And I keep repeating to John, and to myself that "it's going to be okay." And it helps. 

I started a new job this week, nannying, and something about it just didn't feel right. This is not the place to list off all the whys and the details, it just wasn't a good fit. It happens! And usually I would have just ignored the red flags and the feeling in my gut and kept going because while I'm a quitter in lot ways in life, I don't usually quit jobs just because I don't like them. I'm not stupid, I know that  almost no one likes their job, it's just a part of life. So I usually wait it out until we have to move and then use moving as an excuse to quit. I spend most of the time unhappy and wonder why?

So after buying two pints of Ben & Jerry's yesterday and writing in my journal when I got home yesterday, I still wasn't sure what to do. Do I stick it out since it is so short-term (6 months) and maybe hate it, or do I actually take control of my happiness? I went to bed thinking I would just stick it out. I had a lot of reasons to and of course it would be the "smartest" choice. 

Then I wrote this on my chalkboard this morning initially thinking - "I can do this. It's going to be okay." And then I glanced at it one last time as I was leaving and thought - "It's going to be okay if I quit." 

So I did. 

And yeah, I cried. Which isn't unusual, I think I've cried to every boss I've ever had at one point or another, and I ALWAYS do when I have to quit. Which is embarrassing, but I'm actually really proud of myself for being able to do it. It's not easy to say the words,  "I don't think this is working." (It's almost as bad as breaking up lol!) But the older I get, the more I realize how important it is to listen to myself. That little voice is in our head for a reason. And yeah, I'm unemployed again (and I realize how lucky I am to be able to have this choice, I know I know I know, love you John) and now I need to make another plan, but I know it's going to be okay. 

It always is. 

(BUT PLEASE SEND JOB IDEAS!! NEED EMPLOYMENT!)
 xx

9 comments:

  1. I'm glad you didn't force yourself to stay and be unhappy! And I love your motto. It's a good one to have.

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  2. I kept trying to click on your blog from this morning and thought you must have deleted it! I'm glad you quit! I think you're totally right that jobs just kind of suck and you don't have to really like them, but if something really doesn't feel right, then it's smart to pay attention to it. There's definitely a difference between not loving your job and having your job be the wrong fit for you. I know I'm going to have to quit one of my jobs when I have my baby and I'm already so nervous about it! I don't even know what to do! Or who I actually need to quit to! I've only met the actual director of the floor ONCE (she didn't even interview me)! And I've seriously only quit one other real job before so typing up a resignation letter is so overwhelming! Maybe your next stop should be Atlanta and you can come be my nanny! Good luck finding your next job! Aside from nursing, I know nothing about jobs these days. I don't even care about jobs. But I totally wish I had been an au pair in Europe before getting married, just as a random note, haha. Too bad I was in the Army during my entire prime for living adventurously.

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  3. Aw after I read the first few lines I was shouting in my head, "quit, life's too short to be unhappy!" I can't think of any job ideas off the top of my head though sorry! Even as a teacher I never enjoyed nannying, it takes a special type of person. That's what my sister does though and loves it. Good luck!

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  4. I'm sorry your job didn't work out but you definitely made the right decision! I really hope things start looking up for you!

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  5. Ugh I am just so sorry. I nannyed a LOT during the last five years of my life. Usually pretty sweet gigs. You get paid pretty well and you get to play with kiddos all day. But my last nanny job sucked the life out of me so I quit and I just never went back to work. Lol I'm coming to a close on college though so I'll be joining the work field real soon. Boo. :(

    How are you with a camera? Photography is a great money maker and its very flexible job to have. I didn't realize you guys would be there for only 6 months! It sounds like you're pooped out of moving and I don't blame you at all. Hang in there. Hugs. Xo

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    1. Aww thanks girly. You might be right. I'm just over it. It seriously hasn't even registered that we're here yet. When I see signs and things that say "South Carolina" I feel like I'm almost dreaming. I probably need another week or two of just getting used to it before I can mentally like settle into my life. (I'm such a baby lol.)

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  6. Awh you are awesome and I'm proud of you for quitting!! That really is SO HARD to do!!!! Especially with places like a nanny job, cause it's like the boss is just someones mom and moms are scary haha. I have had a LOT of crapy nanny jobs. Like some freaking crazy people. And even though I hated every second, it was so dang hard to quit!! And whenever I quit, I always say stuff like "But I can still for the next month still if you want!!!" And then I'm like "why did I say that???" Like I loved Okland but I said I'd stay for a month and it was like the worst month ever cause I was just so ready to be done!! If that even makes since haha cause it really was a great place. But anyways job ideas.... make signs! ;) haha give me a run for my money. I wanted to make something/ have my own thing for SO LONG but couldn't think of what to make. And then once I figured it out, I just ran with it and crossed my fingers and luckily it's worked out great for us!! List all the things you love to do or make and maybe try a few things. If it's your own thing, the hardest part is putting yourself out there and telling people what you do! Or maybe you'll come upon an AMAZING nanny family that is super rich and treats you as their own :) I'll keep thinking! I'll be back to blogging next weekish (I think...) so be ready to be flooded with comments! xo

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    1. ps you may already know but your little instagram widget isn't working!! :'(

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  7. Ugh, I'm sorry that it didn't work out. I've been there with having to quit a job a few days in because it just wasn't right - SO hard!!! Good for you though and I know the right thing will open up soon for you!

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