Friday, February 12, 2016

Not your typical love story: part 2 / the friendly years.


Basically whenever I got into a new relationship, I'd drop off the face of the earth. So it was around this time that we stopped hanging out as much. We still talked here and there, but sometimes months would go by without us seeing each other. And I'm not even going to get into this relationship or really many others because honestly, I just don't care. It's not what this was about. The point is, whenever I had a new boyfriend I'd more or less disappear from Johns life. I think it's safe to say (and I guess understandably so lol) that none of them were encouraging of me having a guy best friend so I'd just stay away. It wasn't like I would tell John "don't talk to me!" or anything like that, I just would stop calling and he knew what that meant. But I always missed John. I remember going to a party with a boyfriend once, and when I knew he wasn't looking I ran up to John and gave him the biggest hug. I always loved John. And of course John dated during this time too. Maybe not anyone seriously, but I'm sure that he "dated." I guess the difference is that I never felt like John was blocking me out, or choosing someone else over me like I did to him. When I asked him about this he said it really didn't seem that bad or like it was that long when I'd disappear because he had his own life going on. So maybe I make it out to be a lot worse. He wasn't like sitting around crying over me or anything. (But I like to think he was. Were you??? wink wink wink.) (---> he says yes, but I don't believe him, haha.)

(It's a good thing I changed my hair all the time because it's the only way I can put these pictures in chronological order. And I know I had just turned 21 because I have an extra 15 lbs of beer weight lol.)

I wrote a little about that ^ picture and our friendship here. It was summer 2009, about a year after we  first met and I found myself recently single (hallelujah) again (for the most part), and my friendship with John picked right back up. I'm pretty sure this was around the time that we started drunkingly making out all the time. Neither of us have any idea when or why it started, it was just something that we started doing I guess. Looking back at it now, I almost feel like our relationship kept taking these tiny little steps until finally we ended up where we are here today, and maybe that was the step that said like, "okay, I'm into you." But of course we never, ever said that. Noo way. We dealt with it by joking around. If we did it as a "joke" (not sure how this even makes sense) or just "for fun" then it wasn't admitting any real feelings, you know? It was safe that way.

(I'm missing about 6 months of pictures here, so jumping way ahead..)


Two years in a row I went to his family's big Christmas party. (I think this was the first year.) It wasn't like he intentionally invited me or anything, I just happened to call asking to borrow something and he was like, "come over, we're having a party!!" And I ended up coming over and staying the whole night. I remember his family calling me "Johns pretend girlfriend" haha. I also remember John went to bed somewhat early and later on, once everyone was getting ready to like pass out on the floor/couches in the basement, I was like, "nuh-uh"and went upstairs and crawled into bed with John. That's just how we were. (Also, kind of can't believe this was the same space we had our wedding reception in five years later.)


This was probably a few weeks later, one of my very first phone pictures. I have no idea how I even still have this.

It was around this time that I actually convinced John to date my best friend. This was the first night that I had them meet (officially at least) and we went to an ugly sweater party together. Clearly this was how I really felt about it. Just kidding, I actually used to pretend I was asleep sometimes and I'm pretty sure this is what I'm doing there, haha. Anyways, this is one of those things that we're probably better off never talking about again, but I've already admitted our story is weird, so just know that I know this part is weird. So, I figured since they were both my best friends that they had to be perfect for each other. And I think I really honestly wanted them to work out, but John remembers it differently. He remembers how one night, they were laying in his bed together watching tv or something and I was supposed to be sleeping in the other room (one of his roommates was gone or something) and instead I came in and jumped right in bed in-between them, haha. So maybe I was secretly jealous about it. I know for sure that I was jealous on New Years Eve when they showed up together and I remember thinking John was looking really good (he had on the cutest argyle sweater). That was the first time I got a glimpse into how he would be as a boyfriend and I liked it. (In case anyone is wondering how that turned out, they didn't last long. At all. And me and that girl are not friends anymore, for reasons totally unrelated to John.)

(I loved this haircut by the way, but so hard to upkeep.)

Once John turned 21, we started going out a lot more. (As opposed to driving around in my jeep drinking.) For some reason we loved this place called "Club Rush" and I always felt very cool going there, haha. I would probably die now (but it does come up later, in part 3 lol). 


John HATES this picture, and trust me I do too, but that was us. There was also a picture tagged of us from that night making out, but I promised John I wouldn't post it here, haha. (Just too weird.)


^ This one is kind of my favorite though. 

(Also won't let him throw away this t-shirt because of this picture lol.)

So, even though we initially bonded over partying, there were always times were we supported each other minus the partying. (If it isn't obvious, clearly we may have some issues. We're aware.) This was from a time when we were trying to take a break from drinking, so I would come up to meet John every Wednesday and we'd do a "no alcohol" date. It totally seemed like we were dating sometimes, and I even remember his roommate (my sisters boyfriend at the time lol) would answer the door and be like, "JOHN YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S HERE." We went out to dinner this night and I specifically remember it because I made a Facebook status when I got home that said something like - "Went out on a romantical date with John Apfel tonight where he put our reservation under Jose, then asked the waitress to read his menu for him because he forgot his glasses and made me laugh until I cried." And he commented back, "I have no idea what she's talking about, I'm in Cleveland on a business trip" haha. (He was joking, obviously.)


But of course, those "no-alcohol" times never lasted too long. There was a party going on at Johns apartment on this night and he's making that face because he didn't want to be there. (He didn't like some of the people.) So he left. I stayed. I drank wine out of a bag (slapped some kid in the face with that bag of wine lol), fell asleep on his couch and peed my pants. (I know a lot of people do this when they're drunk, but I SWEAR this was the only time that's ever happened to me.) John woke me up when he got back, and I remember thinking he looked so cute in this red shirt (and he had on a backwards black hat, don't know why I remember these things or feel the need to write them here, but I do lol) and he found me some new pants and then we went to sleep in his bed together. (In a totally innocent way!!) But for real, how many examples can I give to show what a good friend he was to me? The most I ever did for John then (now is a much different story lol) was offer him a coffee cup full of water if he wasn't feeling very good, and that's only because that's what he did to me all the time, haha. (Always water in a coffee cup, don't know why.)

I know I'm giving away a lot of really embarrassing stories about myself here, but since I'm not this crazy wild person anymore, it doesn't bother me to talk about. And I wasn't ALWAYS like this. I'm just basing this off mostly memories from these photos, and back then our relationship consisted of a lot of partying. That doesn't mean my whole life consisted of partying. And no John wasn't some angel the whole time either, I'm just telling it from my side and leaving his out. I mean, if he wanted the world to know all the dumb shit he did, he would get a blog, haha...


At karaoke one night. I used to really love the red-eye feature..


But apparently not so much here..haha. (John always gets red eyes, is that a blue-eyed person thing?)


This was later that May, my 22nd birthday. John sent flowers to my house (he kept asking me if I was going to be home that day and I was like, "I DON'T KNOW, WHY??") and a birthday card that said "Happy 16th Birthday" but he crossed out the the 16 and wrote 22? And then he picked me up and took me out to my favorite Mexican restaurant. I remember saying how it felt like we were on a date and then I remember he got realllllly weird after that. And he insists that this was the day before my birthday because there was another guy I really wanted to ask me out for my real birthday, and he might be right, but I don't like to remember how S-T-U-P-I-D I was because seriously, why was I wasting my time on anyone else when THIS WAS MY HUSBAND? It makes me so mad. 

I always say that this was the time period where we ALMOST dated. It definitely could have happened. We were getting a bit more mature, more grown up (not really, but you know) and I think it was when we both started to give each other little hints that we liked each other. But it was still too scary so we never said the words. I remember one time John came over to watch this movie that I said he HAD to see - Inglorious Bastards lol - and something just felt different. We had watched movies together before, of course, but it was usually just something to do while we drank. But we weren't drinking this time. I remember I started to get like really nervous for some reason, and so I lied and said that I was too tired and couldn't finish the movie so he went home and I went to bed. Like, you know how when you go to the movies on a first date and you can't relax because the whole time you're wondering if they're going to hold your hand or if you should reach for their hand, or whatever? That's how it felt. And it made me so nervous because there was like this wall that we had up and I was trying to protect it. I always had these thoughts that if we DID get together, what if we just ended up ruining our friendship? It wasn't worth it. (And kissing drunk didn't count in our world lol.)




Was it just us, or did this guy not look exactly like Jack Black?? And in case anyone is wondering, we do not smoke anymore. (Unless we are in Europe, than maybe.)

So even though we were getting really close and almost/kind of/maybe were inching towards dating, a few months later I got into a new relationship and pulled my biggest disappearing act of all. It was my most serious relationship up until this point. (Like living together serious. But not nearly as serious as I thought looking back on it now, that guy barely knew me.) I think John and I were still talking and seeing each other in group settings for a while, but then one day he called me and was really upset about something, and it got me really upset too and I was crying and it was really shitty of me, but I just decided that I couldn't deal with it. So I didn't... (And of course, my new boyfriend was very encouraging of me not dealing with it.)

Now there is a lot I'm leaving out here, because no one needs to know everything. I'm being especially careful not to talk too much about Johns personal life. It's not my place. But basically, he needed a friend, and I bailed out.

So even though I still called and considered him one of my "best friends," we more or less stopped talking and seeing each other at this point. Summer ended, John moved into a new apartment, one that I'd never see. He dated some girl who lived in Chicago. Fall and winter happened. Then spring and then summer when John moved to New Jersey for an internship. He had his life, I had mine and we both grew up a lot over the next year. I got a really good job, cut some bad people out my life and believe it or not, I stopped partying almost all together. So I don't look back and totally see it as a wasted year, but I hate that there's this missing chunk in our story. But I also know that timing is everything, and ours would come...

To be continued, again. x

16 comments:

  1. oh i can't wait for part 3 ;) i think we all did stupid shit when we were younger. and yes, that guy really does look like jack black lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But does everyone blast it on the internet haha??? I know though, it's true. Every single person I knew back then was just as stupid as I was, so it's normal. And for real, we did lol. All these people were crowded around him watching him play guitar and he was so weird. He wouldn't talk to anyone lol didn't even acknowledge that we were taking pictures with him.

      Delete
  2. I read Part 1 on my phone the other night before bed so I couldn't comment (/I'm too lazy to type on my phone) but I'm SO GLAD you're writing these! I left a ton out in my story of Jon and I getting together because it makes me look really bad. Really, most of the stuff Jon did wasn't really anything bad so most of his stuff was included in my story. Everything I did was way worse. That's one of the reasons I miss an anonymous blog! I could tell ALL the crazy parts of stories back then, haha. I'm the one who is always so ridiculous. I totally remember that white lace shirt, by the way. I can't remember if I had it or if a friend had it and I really loved it, but I'm pretty sure I owned it and just felt like it was too "not me" so it just sat in my closet and I'd dream about wearing it. This totally makes me want to do a post of myself in my college days just to talk about how dumb I was and how ridiculous my life used to be. I'm 100% positive that if Jon ever met me while I was actually in college (as opposed to when I was college still except we met in Iraq so he didn't get to see that crazy side) we would have NEVER dated! I can't believe how much you and John have gone through! I just want you guys to start dating!!! I hope you start dating in Part 3 finally!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha I'm pretty sure that white shirt was Forever21. I used to buy things and wear them one time and then never again, so who knows what happened to it lol. I LOVED your story. Like probably the best one I've ever read, because the whole time I was like, ARE THEY GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER??!!?!? I'm like opposite of you, I don't want to make John look bad (he really didn't do anything bad, but you know) but I could care less about myself lol. And I don't see you being like how I was at all lol. You seem like you had your shit together. Or at least from where I started reading about you :) xx

      Delete
  3. Michael and I's story is sooo long and most of it is just HUGE gaps. It's super random, but it does kind of suck thinking about how we maybe could've happened earlier (but I really don't think it would've worked out if we had tried that). It's not like yours at all since we weren't even near best friends ever haha but the gap thing I can understand!

    I also was with just some of the worst guys who did not treat me well at all or like give a shit about me. I mean, before Michael my longest relationship was only like 5 months, but even guys I had 'things' with instead of real relationships...ugh. I had like no self confidence so once a guy liked me or showed any interest I was all over it. It makes me sad for myself now.

    I can't wait to read more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want to read your story though because all I know is that you got engaged super fast and that already sounds so romantical :)

      Delete
  4. Yay for part 2! I am so loving this story! My favorite part was your birthday flowers and dinner oh and the comment about John moping around for you when you were off dating other people. Haha. It's so sweet! Can't wait for part 3!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol, he did not mope around, I'm sure of it. I'm trying to finish part 3 but wasn't in the mood all weekend so trying to catch up..but not in the mood today either lol.

      Delete
  5. Okay, I can't wait for part 3 now! You guys even look like a couple in those red-eye pictures. And he sent you FLOWERS & you went to dinner.. like a DATE! You said he got all weird after you called it a date so then why the heck did he do all that in the first place?! Boys...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol I know, who sends flowers to a friend? We should have just dated then, but guess life had a different plans.

      Delete
  6. My husband had a girlfriend when we first met and became friends but they were long distance so I never really saw them together. Then she came to visit for Valentine's Day and we went on a double date (I had a serious boyfriend at the time too) and I remember getting so weirdly jealous! Partly because he was such a good boyfriend to her and partly because mine was a total dick to me. It was so weird because really before that I don't think I had ever looked at him as more than a friend (I mean like a best friend, like probably the best friend I'd ever had, but not a boyfriend).
    I love that you're sharing this. My husband and I didn't get together under the most romantic circumstances either, and sometimes it makes me cringe to look back at the beginning, but honestly reading this and seeing how much you appreciate every little thing, good and bad, is helping me do the same!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww I love that! I don't really care to hear the perfect stories anyways. I read one yesterday that she kept referring to him as "courting her" and I was like eye-rolling it lol. I like our stories better. We actually don't really like to talk about back then, but now that time's passing and it doesn't feel like yesterday I can appreciate it. Trust me though, I left out a lot of stuff. There's some things we don't want to ever re-live lol.

      Delete
  7. How about you post part 3 right now!! I'm enthralled. I love the way you have no issues talking about the not so good things you've done. I think about my college days and just wonder-- why, why, why...lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol, I just had to come to peace with it. But it helps to know that everyones saying they were bad too lol.

      Delete
  8. Seriously you are killing me. He loved you the entire time and was just waiting for you! Like the story now is like "obviously they need to get married" like in a movie type of story! How everything plays out and you're like wait come on, come on, and then finally the two start to realize something has changed and it's the best part of the movie!! Did friends ever try to say you guys should date or anything? Like, did everyone know you were meant to be?! Bring on part 3!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am finally catching up on reading your blog and hope to get through your whole love story today. Waiting this long to read it, I at least don't have the anxiety associated with wanting to know what happens next (and having to wait for you to post a new story)! Your husband sounds hilarious and good thing I'm working by myself today in the office because the part about him in the restaurant made me laugh out loud. I had no idea he was so funny!

    In Part #1, you're correct though in saying to be sure to marry your best friend - I'm so glad I was lucky to find that person, as well.

    I can relate to you in saying that you think your husband was always a better friend in the relationship (although I, too, like a lot of the comments, believe you're probably being too hard on yourself). I still think that about my husband now though actually. He is just a better human being than me I think. And someone I aspire to be more like.

    Looking forward to finishing the rest of your story.

    https://sarahsays319.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...