Friday, April 1, 2016

The weekly report: no jokes here, just rambling paragraphs about the weather and conversations with myself.


Add this to my last post about screenshots. I'm sure it will be all over the internet today, but I thought it was pretty funny. I wrote once about how I stayed up all night googling Donald Trump faces and that was back when John used to love watching videos of him...because it seemed like a joke. I really don't know what's going on with the status of him being the Republican candidate (I honestly just had to google, is Donald Trump republican or democrat, so I know absolutely zip), but this would be the greatest joke of all time wouldn't it? (Unless you're for him, but he scares the shit out of me.) I've never been able to pull off an April Fools joke because I am not the joking type. At least not in person. (I can do anything online lol.) And I would feel bad tricking someone. It would give me too much anxiety. My best friend growing up pretended to break her leg every year. We didn't believe her the first year, but she kept trying, haha.

Anyways.

It's raining here. I always hated the saying that "April showers bring May flowers." Rain for a whole month? How depressing. It was so hot here before we went to Michigan and then by the time we got back it was cold again. I was really looking forward to getting this spring party started. I need you sun. These legs need you. I know the sun is bad for you, and I do use a very mild self tanner like once a week, but it just doesn't compare to the real thing. So, hurry up April. Move out the way.

Or maybe I just hate April because it's the month before my birthday. (May 6th guys, write it on your calendars, I would love to be showered with love and attention. Just kidding do not. I never tell anyone it's my birthday.) We want to go to Charleston for my birthday weekend, and we started looking into it this week, and wow it's so beautiful. It seems crazy it's only 3 hours away from us. We have done such a bad job at getting out so far here. We keep blaming it on the weather like, "when it's nice out we will do this" or that, so hopefully it's coming and we actually get out. I know that we live in a really beautiful place, or at least near a lot of beautiful places, so it would be a shame on us to miss out on it during our short time here.

But enough about the weather. I think I'm just avoiding talking about myself right now because my feelings are like ALL THE FEELINGS, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. So talking about this right now is better suited for my journal (which I wrote about five pages in last night) ...but I'll do a quick update here. I have worked out (today will be) EIGHT DAYS IN A ROW and the only bit of "sugar" I've had has been from fruit, or a tiny bit of pure honey or pure maple syrup here and there. (Gotta have my pancakes.) And while I am proud of myself already, it's not over, so I can't celebrate yet. And by celebrate I mean, I don't know, patting myself on the back or something. NOT going back to old habits. Not happening. I have full intentions of making this a permanent change. But I have to do the work fist. And it's hard. (I just wrote "and it's hard" twice without even realizing it. So, it's hard.) I think what's hardest for me right now, in the beginning, is that I've taken food off the table as a way to deal with my feelings. I think it was Wednesday, I was feeling just like unsettled. Something was bothering me but I wasn't sure what. I was feeling angry about not being organized, about things up in the air I knew I had to make choices about, and before I knew it I was shoving cashews into my mouth. And I was like, "omg Morgan, you're doing it." So I had to stop myself, because I wasn't eating because I was hungry, it was just a distraction. And I had to get out my journal (so much journaling, I could probably use a real therapist, but I kind of like to be my own) to clear my head. I also talk to myself a lot. Does anyone else do this? It used to really bother me because my Mom does this (lol), but whenever I've been getting overwhelmed, or just feel like something's off, I've been literally having a conversation out loud with myself to figure it out. "Morgan, what's bothering you? What can we do about it? What can you do right now and what can you do later" type of thing.

And the working out part is another mind game of it's own. Everyday there's a part of me that says, "you don't HAVE to do this" and then there's this mind struggle of - yes you do, no you don't - and it's not always easy to get the yes side to win. It's hard, but I'm doing it. So there's that everyday too.

Now I'm rambling (like always), but that's where I'm at I guess. I LOVE so much about this and the changes I'm seeing and feeling, but it's a lot more than just my body, my mind's going through changes too. And that's hard. And I just realized I used the word hard a lot today. I don't know if I like that word. This isn't hard. It's more of a good hard. I don't know, I need to think of a better word.  And I do plan on writing up an actual post this weekend that has real information about what the 21dayfix is (in my own words) and more about Beachbody, and maybe even a video of Ted and I doing abs on the floor...

So yeah! Happy April! Life is great and grand and full of jokes, and rain and feelings and just kidding let's just hurry up and skip to May... No, just kidding, April Fools. See, that was a joke. April can stay. Oh, I am bad at this.

Bye. xx

12 comments:

  1. You didn't know D-Trump was a Republican! C'mon, girl! I was hoping he'd pop on TV today & yell JUST KIDDING! and vanish forever, but sadly don't see that happening :( Proud of you for keeping up with the workouts! It's so so hard (and extra hard for some) (me) so any small accomplishment should be treated as such. I reward myself every time I step foot in the gym, regardless of what I do in there or how long I stay, lol.

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  2. I probably shouldn't have admitted that lol, but the truth is I know the difference I just get them mixed up. Kind of like when someone says "turn right" I turn left..lol. I am so high-fifing anyone who works out for any amount of time! Shit is hard. My only hope is that my body gets used to it sooner rather than later.

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  3. girl i have no idea on the republican democrat thing. i mean, i guess i have an excuse haha, but KC has explained it like 75 times and i honestly have no idea, still. we call it liberal and labour. they don't match up exactly to the US parties (or 'sides') but they are our 2 main ones. eight days in a row!! congrats girl, that is awesome! high five.

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    1. HIGH-FIVE!!! From across the internet! I wish I had an excuse...I just don't really pay attention...and it's way over my head and it gets me nervous thinking how one person controls basically everything. I know that's how the world works, but I tend to overthink lol.

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  4. Working out every day is super tough..I'm basically happy if I can do 4 days during the week LOL!! Hope you have a great weekend!

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    1. 4 days is awesome!! I would love to aim for 5 someday, but I have to get myself used to it first. I am out. of. shape!

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  5. Oh my gosh that is the funniest meme of all time! Love it! Happy Friday girl :)

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  6. Man I wish that was a joke. I want to go to Charleston sooooo bad, so you better go! And rent bikes and take pictures of the colorful houses..

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  7. hahah I always WANT to do an April fools joke but I never do. I'm the same- I would just be like "April fools, I'm sorry that was dumb!!" and that's funny your friend kept trying to fake a broken leg every year hahaa and as far as working out, it looks like you are doing so great!!! I can't wait to read all about how you thought of it after the 21 days are up! You are doing awesome and it is so healthy!! If I wasn't pregnant (my excuse...) I would try to be cool and workout like you!

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    1. Lol you already worked out way more than I did so YOU ARE COOL!

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