I'm not sure it's going to get any easier posting pictures like this, but it's good motivation for me and maybe inspiration to others, so what the hell. It's only a sports bra, right? Big whoop. I really do these little side-by-side collages mostly for myself so someday I can remember/look back on the weeks, but WHAT THE HELL, why not share them all right?
So, I finished my second round of the 21 day fix and I seriously cannot believe the progress I've made in only six weeks. I take pictures of myself every Friday, and then I compare it to the week before and I'm always like, "oh my god...it's working!!!" I am nowhere near perfect, and I'm not aiming to ever be (what even is "perfect?") but this is just like a dream to me that I'm starting to feel better about my body. I'm not looking in the mirror anymore and going, "ugh." Now it's more like, "oh wow...you did that?" (That's me talking to myself.) I never, ever thought I had it in me to work hard and commit to something like this, but I did it. I'm doing it. I worked out every single day, pushed my mind to stay strong and kept my foods clean. I feel stupid sometimes that I knew it was that easy, but I made it out to be so hard in my mind. Workout, eat right...that's all there is to it. All I needed was some guidance and the right tools to make it happen, which is why I share this also. If this sounds like something you'd be interested in too, talk to me. Some people love to go the the gym, and that's great. But if you don't (like me..) and you think that's the only option, IT'S NOT. But I never really knew this, so I'm sharing because working out at home is like the best kept secret I've ever been let in on, lol. It's hard sometimes, but not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. The hardest part is sometimes mental...
For me, a lot of the mental part has been not letting myself give up during my workouts and trying to figure out a balance with my eating. I think everyones idea of creating that magic balance will look different. I'm a little more strict with mine A) because that's just how I am, and B) because I need a clear plan to follow. (Another reason these workouts work for me.) What works for me is having one planned treat night once I finish my rounds. Some might not call that balance, more like "reward," but that's what works for me. At least for now. This is ALL and might forever be a learning process. So during those six weeks I did have ONE treat night, right after the first round and honestly it was hard. That's probably the hardest part for me to learn in all this; how to balance living a healthy lifestyle but also being able to let loose once in a while. How to be a healthy, but not in an obsessive, restrictive way. But it's also probably the most important part for me to learn. In the past whenever I'd want to "get in shape," I didn't even consider working out, I'd just get obsessive over foods. What was going in, and not in recent times, but sometimes what was coming out also. It's really, really important for me to learn how to create the balance I need to keep myself on track and feeling great about myself, but also being able to be a real person who sometimes eats donuts. (FYI - donuts are my next treat, lol.) So while I may be slightly obsessing over the eating clean part, I am making damn sure I treat myself after every round no matter what because I need to know it's okay. I'm getting a bit off track here as I just wanted to pop in really quick to post these pictures, but I need to be totally real about how I'm doing. I need to voice this out and almost "tell on myself" that I am having a hard time with the treats and I need to get over it! I can be a healthy person and have treats too! I just like, get "in the zone" where I'm doing so well, and I can see it and I can feel it and so this stupid little voice gets in my head and tries to tell me that I can't stop. That one treat is going to ruin everything. But I need to ignore that crazy voice. Because that crazy voice is my eating disorder coming back around trying to control me. Really, that voice is me telling myself I can control how this ends. That if I just get a little bit more obsessive, I can have it all. That maybe I could be "perfect." But that voice is a cheater. She wants to cut corners and do it the slimy way and get into my head and tell me that it's okay, that I'll be even happier this way. That the thinner I get the better I'll be. But she's wrong. So this is me saying, GET OUTTA HERE CRAZY! You're not getting in this time! And I will never talk specific numbers (that's just me), but I did lose about a pound this round, to be totally completely honest, but then this morning I was up again a pound and a half so I'm calling it even. Someday I want to get to a place - in my head - where I can stop weighing myself every day, because that itself is addicting also, but I'm not quite there yet. I have to know. And it's important to me during this to maintain a healthy weight. So I tell myself I need to. But that could also be that crazy voice again...
GAH, this is not going where I thought it was going to go! Blogging always does this to me. I have one simple thought I want to put down and then once my fingers hit the keyboard, it's like therapy hour. Oh well, that was actually really great to get out as a reminder to myself and not a bad message to share. I know some of you can relate. Ignore that damn crazy voice, she's nuts.
So anyways, let me get onto what I really swear that I came here for. Here's my 21DF round two results. Again, not perfect. Not even in that great of shape, yet. But what the hell. I'm not sure what perfect feels like, but progress feels damn good.
What I think about when I look at these is that I am trying really hard not to laugh at John in all of them, haha. So not a huuge noticeable difference, but guys, I'M GETTING TONED!! Sometimes I don't see it, but then I'll be in the shower soaping up and I'm like..."hmm this feels different." (PERMANENT TMI ALERT.) Everything's just a bit tighter. And even my posture seems to be improving, which is great because I pretty much accepted that I'm going to be a hunchback as an old woman...but maybe I just needed some yoga in my life?
Okay now this next one is my favorite though...
I've always wanted a good "back" but never knew what the hell to do to get one. I'd do some of those pull down things at the gym...you know with the bar? I don't speak gym language, but anyways - I'd do those and just like, wish for back muscles pretty much, haha. This is straight up free weights, push-ups and planks. (Lots and lots and lots of plank moves. My "abs" are basically straight up planks too. And my new and improved posture. DO YOUR PLANKS!)
Okay, so maybe these are all my favorites, haha. Because I LOVE this one too!! I wasn't messing around when I said that I AM getting abs. I've always wanted them, why the hell not just get them you know? I don't want to look back as a 90 year old and be like, "damn I should have just done some crunches while I was young." Or something like that. I really don't know what 90 year old me will regret someday, but I very clearly remember this thought I had around 20 years old. I saw someone who was in really, like REALLY good shape on Facebook or something, and I remember thinking, "I could do that." And then...well, story for another time (I will get into this story someday too, I need to if anything) but I decided working out was hard and I'd cheat. (In case your wondering, abs don't just show up from under eating. Big shock to me too.)
That on the left is pretty much exactly how I looked this past Saturday after my birthday dinner...which speaking of that. It was great. Who doesn't like to induldge in a 4 course meal every once in a while. But that feeling!! You know, THAT feeling of being so full but continuing to keep eating and eating? That's not even fun. By the time dessert came (which was all I really wanted), I could barely enjoy it because my stomach was just tapped out. I said to John afterwards, "I feel like I was just in an eating contest." And what I think is so crazy, now at least, is that I wasn't eating any different than I used to. The meal I had was something I've had plenty of times before, but this was the first time I really payed attention to just how MUCH food it was. And how SICK I felt to be stuffing myself that way. It's crazy. If anything, I totally suggest using portion control and eating clean for three weeks as an experiment to really take a look at what you're eating and how much.
I'm starting the "extreme" version today...(today = Sunday, although this will probably post on Monday) and I am nervous! I could have gone another round with the original 21df, but I know I have to keep challenging myself. So extreme it is. It's going to be tough, but I think I can do it....and that will conclude today's "well, that was weird.." post. (That's you guys talking, lol.) As always, thanks for listening, and for all the support friends. Until next time..