My blog domain renewed the other day and I SERIOUSLY considered cancelling it because clearly I'm never here anymore. But I really do hope to come back here and start documenting more! I feel like I may regret not documenting this pregnancy, but I'm just buuuusy. (Which is GOOD!)
So this post may cover a whole lot, but I haven't done an update for two months. WHOOPS. And everything feels so different now. Like, I'm really pregnant. Like, this is the new me. I almost can't even remember what it was like before I went to bed and woke up to little nudges in my belly. Or what it was like to wear jeans, HA. I did try a bunch of maternity jeans, but decided not even going there. Not unless I could buy a REALLY nice pair, but I don't want to do that. I told John that's what I want post baby. New Madewells so I have incentive to get back into shape. Not that I won't have other incentives, lol. It WILL be practically summer. But this isn't a fitness related post, so moving on....
When this publishes, I will officially be TWENTY EIGHT WEEKS!!! AND LIKE, 4 DAYS!! Getting REALLY REAL over here. My shower is in a few weeks and already people are starting to send us things and I literally have never been so excited IN MY LIFE. Even over the tiniest little things like swaddles, I'm like OBSESSED with looking at and imaging her tiny little baby body in. GAH. You guys. I know it probably seems like all I talk about is my changing body, and how we're not really ready for this...but I cannot wait. Sometimes I try to imagine what my life will be like soon, and I can't even. I have an idea, but I really have NO idea. I think maybe that's why it's such a shock for some women once the baby's born. I don't know how prepared you can be for your entire world to change in a second. I've started thinking a lot lately about that and trying to prepare myself. Knowing how hard it was for me to learn HOW to be pregnant, I imagine it will be hard for me to learn how to NOT be pregnant haha. (Taking advice!) I've started reading a TON lately. On ALL topics. I feel like I need to catch up on a lot. But I still think the best book I read so far was "Bringing Up Bebe." And I'm about through with one book called "Push Back" that I really am loving. It's sort of a...."push back" against the natural childbirth movement, which I'm really not against. ALTHOUGH I will be open and honest - going for the drugs. All of em. No shame. But I like it because I find the whole medical side of how birth's evolved very interesting. And it's interesting how this "natural" thing has really taken off recently, almost like....well a fad, haha. I'll stop there. I do not want to argue about this. (Please.) But I suggest reading it. Even IF you're very crunchy, just to hear the other side of things. OR if you maybe think you had a "bad" birth experience, for sure read this.
ANYWAYS. Not getting into that. Like I said. (Even though I pretty much just did, haha..)
Moving on to my recap now...which might be a lot...but HEY I just paid $14.99 for this website so it's my space to record whatever I want, right?
I'll start with the obvious changes. I'M HUGE! I'm not really sure when this thing "popped" but it sure did! The baby itself feels HUGE too. I felt my first nudges at 20 weeks and they were these tiny little things and now I swear, she's giving me elbows, haha. We were walking Ted last night and I stopped and went, "OW." Felt just like an elbow, I swear! But I think it was actually her butt. Last time we went to the doctor there was this one really hard spot and she was like, "that's her butt right there." Haha. And I was like, "OH MY GOSH SHE HAS A BUTT?!" Like, I can't even stand thinking about how cute she's going to be.
But back to changes...I've gained just about 15 lbs, so I'm happy about that. (Although I'm getting a bit relaxed on my healthy eating..) And I don't think I have any stretch marks yet, I'm using a combo of like three oils/creams, but I have gotten those little purple veins on my legs which are lovely. I'm actually just very veiny right now in general. But that could also be because I'm super pale, haha. I haven't experienced any swollen-ness or anything like that, but I did get a certain lovely gift that is very common to pregnancy due to "pressure" I guess, and I won't mention out loud, but if you know, you know. So that's been super fun. And my belly button is starting to pop out on one side. I've been tapping it down actually, which I don't know if that's even recommended..or if it will even help, but it helps my shirts not look so funny too, so I do it.
But at least my hair is finally growing. So that's been a bonus! But really, it hasn't been that bad. So far. I know this belly will probably double in size by the end, as it's growing BY THE DAY so I'm sure I'll be getting very uncomfortable soon. I've already put in my time with my nanny job to stop mid March, about six weeks before my due date because I just think at that point, I'll be moving a lot slower and have a lot less energy. Also, I'm worried my belly will hit the steering wheel by then, haha. (I do a lot of driving for them.) Even now it's starting to get uncomfortable just sitting here at the computer. It hurts where my boobs meet my belly, lol? Maybe that's my bad posture coming into play, but sometimes I swear, I just need to lay flat for a minute to like stretch it all back out. (On my back. I know. Bad.) And speaking of laying down/sleeping, I am so OBSESSED with my snoggle pillow. I'm going to have a really hard time giving that thing up. Although I did actually have two dreams recently that I could sleep on my stomach again, so maybe once I can do that I'll forget about the snoggle because I looooove stomach sleeping.
Or maybe I just WON'T be sleeping soon, hahaha. You know, because we will have a newborn and all. John's hoping to be able to take a ton of time off, and we've decided that we just want it to be us for the first week or two before any visitors come so the three of us can bond and all that. I'm so excited. Even if we won't be sleeping. (Maybe he will, I don't know. I only know she's going to have to eat what, like every 2 hours? HOW DOES SOMEONE SLEEP?) I think I mentioned it on my Instagram a while back, but since I sort of picked her first name, John was in charge of her middle name, and we had one, but then we realized it was the street name our hospital is on..and we didn't want her to think we named her after that, haha. So he decided on something else recently and I BELIEVE we are set now! I was going back and forth on the spelling of her first name, but I think I've decided on that too. John made a comment that "people are going to think we don't know how to spell" hahaha. Which is funny to me because there are seriously like ten different ways to spell any name anymore. So we're going basic. But that's probably best. It's more us anyways.
And that reminds me, does anyone know of a cute Etsy shop or something that has customized name blankets? Similar to this. Ever since our "prepared childbirth" class last weekend, I've been feeling like I should really get the hospital bag together. Soon at least. But she needs clothes. And a blanket! But I guess I should probably wait for the shower first...
Okay, but I really want to talk about our class because I feel like that was the point when we both went, "oh shit." I don't think John had any idea that this was coming as soon as it is. I almost bailed out on the class actually, but I'm really glad we went. For one, it sounds weird, but it was really fun for us. It was almost like a date, haha. (Shows how lame we are!) But we made it fun. We were DEFINITELY the most laid back couple there. We were like giggling the whole time while everyone else was so super serious. (I mean, we did take it seriously though, I swear.) The women teaching it was bit too "Mother Earthy" for me. She was very proud of the girls who mentioned they wanted a natural birth. And she quoted us a passage from Ina May. So whenever she would go off on her natural stuff, I'd like look off into the distance in case she zoned her eyes in on me like, "YOU. LITTLE GIRL BETTER BE LISTENING." Hahaha. That's what I was imaging anyway...
So yeah, tons of "hospital bag" researching now. And I've been watching lots of birth stories on Youtube. My favorites are the ones where they get the epidural, take a nap and then have a quick baby. HAHAHA. Am I setting myself up with all this wishful thinking? I hope not, but really, I AM prepared to go with the flow. I think I will just be mostly excited to meet her, so whatever happens is fine. Just want a healthy baby.
But I'll probably talk more that later as it gets closer. I'd love to write her a letter before she comes. (Or a public blog post, LOL.) So, more to come...
Now onto what rules my life. Food. Always.
As much as I wish I could stop, my late night snacks are still happening. I just hope I can cut them out someday. (I used to be SO good. Like stopped eating at 7:30 every night!) For I swear, almost three months now I have been OBSESSED with this bread. Probably because all I really want is a cinnamon roll. Or really, cinnamon anything. So I have two pieces of this every day with cinnamon. And this tea is new to me, and I'll admit...the packaging totally got me. I was like, "YESS THIRD TRIMESTER!" But it's actually very tasty, and I "feel" like it's doing something good for me. Since that's what the packaging leads me to believe...
Remember that book I was just praising about? That book would tell me that this is the natural parenting industry making money off of me, hahaha. Whatever.
And besides that, I am OBSESSED with these one crackers I get at Kroger. I don't know the brand, but I snap them in my Instagram story all the time, haha. They're like wheat thins. I don't know why, I just love them right now! And oranges! And...avocados? I don't know I'm just rambling off foods that sound good...OH pasta. We went out to this pasta place last month, and I just got simple spaghetti with meat sauce and it was like THE best thing I had ever had in my entire life. I could not get over how good it was. I took half home and the next day I was like standing over the kitchen counter eating it out of the styrofoam box cold and it was just as delicious. I think we may have to go back there John..if you're listening..
We're trying to get in all the dates right now, so that's been fun! I do hope we will still get out once she's here, but I'm not sure sit down dinners will be happening. Or maybe they will, and she will make it even better? I don't know. We have to meet her first to find out what she's like! That's another one of the crazy things about all this. We have no idea who she is yet! So it's hard to imagine! John will ask me questions all the time, like do I think she will want to play soccer or do gymnastics and I'm like, "I don't know, I don't know her yet!" So far all I know is that she loves to kick around. So maybe both, hahahaha.
So I've covered my bump..preparing for baby..and what I'm eating. What else is there? Oh, we're trying to figure out where to live! Like, I'm waiting for a call right now hoping I can see a house this morning! Maybe I'll do another post all about that. But SHEESH. Are there like not enough houses in the world for everyone? So far it seems like if we don't see a house IMMEDIATELY, it's not even an option. You basically have to put in an offer without seeing it, haha. But FAITH. Having FAITH on all this. And I know it will be fine. EVEN if for some reason we have to bring her home here, we will be fine. It would just be very, very cramped as these little babies need so much stuff. (SO MUCH. STUFF.) But more and more and more on that later..
...gonna go eat some more of those crackers and wait for my phone call. Until next time!!